It wasn´t easy being a tall lanky kid whose voice hadn´t changed, and whose name was Courtney. The types of kids in my neighborhood didn´t help either. My mother and father divorced and my mom took my sister and I out of the nice suburb and into something less when I was eight. I remember lots of rocks from walking home in my neighborhood. Especially the ones that would whiz by my head, or the good throws that hit me in the back or my head. That was my walk home. Oh, and the fights too. Anyway that wasn´t fun, but things got better at school when my voice changed. Luckily my mom got remarried when the kids stopped picking on me, because my step dad was there to remind me that I wasn´t worth spit. Being chocked a lot and my head getting banged around was a lesson I´ll never forget. Also my family thought I was lying because he said I made it up cause I was disturbed. Finally he was gone when my mom finally saw it. I remember her jumping on his back and his last threat. After that I never saw him again.

Naturally things like that leave a kid disturbed. I found my outlet in sports. I did football, wrestling and track. It was great. I was in practice or the gym most all the time. Until I found a better outlet... or so I thought. Drugs. My senior year I did nothing but party and got sent to rehab before first semester was over.

     Rehab was a breath of fresh air. After it was over it took about two weeks before I was back to the same old stuff with just a little more caution. Couple years later got arrested and was in an outpatient rehab treatment, court ordered, and they made me attend Alcoholics Anonymous. I learned a lot. This time took me four months of being sober to go back to my ways.

After a while I wanted to change. I was high strung and constantly on something. I wanted to explode. I even started to get picked on by a guy at work. That was humiliating for a twenty year old to get picked on. One weekend I saw this movie on T.V. called "Kung Fu." I was inspired. Not by the moves, but how the man carried himself. How he wasn´t afraid. He didn´t have all the mood swings and anger I held deep inside. I wanted piece within myself. So I grabbed a phone book. The Shaolin Lohan School was what I called, because of the movie. I went through an interview and realized right there that I was getting myself into a heavy commitment. I found there exactly what I feared... a family. A group of brothers and sisters with its problems. My instructor and my Sifu always say that people come here for a change. I´ve realized that and have been humbled by it.

     You see in high school I picked on a lot of people. I wasn´t exactly happy then and wanted others to feel some pain. The circle of being picked on to picking on others was always happening. Now I see a lot of people that would have hated me then and probably think of guys like me when they´re practicing.

     I worked hard and moved up in the school fairly quickly. Now I´m an assistant instructor. Someone asked me why I would spend so much time teaching these people at night without pay. It sounds funny but practicing daily with my friends, or family, whatever you want to call them, keeps my anger down and hands clean of the bad things. Teaching keeps me reminded of what I started for. My dad told me, "You don´t do things to be a hero... you do them to be a descent human being just like the rest of us." I want to be everything a man can be mentally, physically and spiritually. I enjoy teaching because it makes me feel good to help someone on this difficult road in life. My Sifu helped to teach me how to get over hurdles in the school and then apply that to real life. Mainly his saying of "pain good teacher" is one example of daily life mentally, physically and spiritually. What you learn and what you apply are completely up to you. There are many things I learned about life through the system, but I won´t tell them all to you. I´d rather you find out for yourself like I did. It´s more fun that way.

     -Courtney Seal-